Controlling behavior isn’t just restricted to romantic relationships. The issue can arise or continue after you’ve split up, are in the middle of a divorce, or are already divorced, especially if you have children together.
If your ex-partner is using your kids to exert power and control your lifestyle, you mustn’t hesitate to take action to protect your self-worth, independence, and your relationship with your children. Continue reading to learn how to stop an ex from controlling you with childcare arrangements.
Identify How Your Partner is Attempting to Control You
No one has the right to control you, even the mother or father of your child(ren). Unfortunately, your ex may try to use childcare arrangements as a form of control, which might happen if they are upset about your decision to end a relationship or marriage. For instance, they might:
- Prevent or limit contact with your kids.
- Make child custody threats.
- Refuse to care for your children when you have plans.
- Fail to respect your boundaries when spending quality time with your kids.
- Reject the rules and routines that you enforce for your children’s well-being.
- Stop you from asking your loved ones for childcare to increase your reliance on them.
Once you understand how your ex is trying to control you using your children, you can articulate the obstacles you are facing to a solicitor, mediator, or judge.
Try to Talk to Your Ex
If your ex is making life difficult for you and your children, you must try to talk to them in a calm and rational manner. If they’re open to a mature conversation, try to convey how their actions aren’t only affecting your daily life but the children’s happiness and feelings of security.
Every child deserves to live in a stable environment with a predictable routine, as it will make them feel loved and safe each day. Avoid raising your voice or passing blame, and attempt to create a strict schedule together for caring for your children throughout the years.
Consult a Divorce and Family Law Solicitor
If you feel you can’t reach a childcare agreement together, you might have no choice but to get in contact with divorce lawyers with extensive experience in family law. Like you, they believe parents should try to minimize disruption to their children’s lives and will work with you to ensure that your children grow up in a loving, stable environment. Thanks to their personalized legal advice, you can take the appropriate steps to improve your childcare arrangements and take back control of your life.
Keep a Record of All Communication
If you’re subject to abusive calls, text messages, emails, or verbal threats, you need to keep an accurate record of all the communications from your ex. Never return insults, accusations, or threats, and use the information as evidence of their controlling behavior. It will support your claims if a child custody case reaches court or you need to take criminal action against your ex.