Navigating Grief: Practical Bereavement Advice

The world feels irrevocably changed now. Colder, perhaps. A little muted. When I first navigated the landscape sculpted entirely by grief, shock, and profound loss following my mother’s passing, every small task felt monumental. It is a journey no one ever wants to take, but one that many of us inevitably face. I understand the weight of standing in an altered reality, one where a foundational piece of your life is simply missing. I am not a grief expert, a mental health professional, or a certified counselor. I am simply a woman, living in a altered world after losing both of my parents. From the raw heart of someone who has walked this path, I offer the following bereavement advice. These are not professional recommendations, but small, hard-won truths—practical survival tips—that have offered me glimmers of light on the darkest days.

1. Allow Yourself to Feel: The Validity of Every Emotion

(Focus: Emotional Validation, Non-Linear Grief)

The first, and perhaps most crucial, step in coping with loss is granting yourself permission to feel everything that arises. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there is certainly no fixed timeline. Don’t let anyone—including that small, demanding voice inside your own head—tell you that you “should be over it” by a certain date.

The sadness that hits like a physical wave, the anger at the unfairness of it all, the profound numbness, or even the unexpected laughter triggered by an old memory—they are all valid. Suppressing these powerful emotions doesn’t shorten the journey; it only prolongs the healing.

Understanding the Non-Linear Nature of Grief

Grief is rarely organized into neat stages. It is cyclical, messy, and unpredictable. Embracing this chaos is key to moving through it. I’ve found myself crying unexpectedly in the supermarket, and then ten minutes later, laughing with a friend over a shared memory. Embrace this complexity. Give the emotion what it needs, whether that is a silent bath, a loud cry, or a walk to burn off the restless energy.

2. Be Kind to Yourself: Prioritize Self-Compassion and Self-Care

Losing my mother was the most emotionally and physically draining experience of my life. Grief consumes massive amounts of energy. The emotional labor alone can leave you feeling perpetually exhausted, even if you’re doing very little.

This is not the time for striving for productivity or perfection. It is the time for survival. I learned to prioritize self-care, even when it felt like an impossible burden. These small acts are not selfish—they are necessary foundations for healing.

Why Rest is Not a Luxury—It’s Survival

Focus on the absolute basics of keeping yourself grounded:

• Nourishment: Eat regular, nutritious meals, even if you don’t feel hungry. Keep simple, easy-to-prepare foods accessible.
• Movement: Take a walk in nature or stretch your body. Even five minutes of fresh air can shift your perspective.
• Comfort: Simple rituals like a warm bath, listening to calming music, or reading a book offer small, defensible pockets of solace.
• Rest: Get as much sleep as possible. If sleep feels elusive, allow yourself to rest quietly without the pressure of needing to fall asleep.

3. Lean on Your Ecosystem: Don’t Navigate Grief Alone

(Focus: Grief Support System, Asking for Help)

When the world feels cold and overwhelming, the instinct to isolate can be powerful. Do not let yourself succumb to it. Your grief support system—friends, family,  or a professional grief counselor—is a lifeline. Reaching out provides much-needed comfort and understanding. Talking about my mother, sharing memories, and simply being heard without judgment alleviated so much pressure. Remember, it is absolutely okay to ask for help. And more importantly, learn how to accept it when it is offered.

Learning to Accept Help (The Hardest Step)

People often want to help but don’t know how. Be specific about your needs:

• “Could you watch the kids?” (Practical)
• “I need someone to sit with me tonight. You don’t have to talk, just be here.” (Presence)
• “I just need to remember her. Could you share your favorite story about Mom?” (Emotional Connection)

4. Weaving Their Memory Into the Future: Honoring Her Legacy

(Focus: Honoring Memory, Continuing Traditions)

Finding tangible and intangible ways to keep my mother’s memory alive has been surprisingly comforting. This practice transforms the intense pain of absence into an enduring connection.

Honoring a loved one is not about living in the past; it’s about carrying the best of their spirit forward and learning to integrate their love into your present reality.

• Tangible Keepsakes: Look through old photographs, create a digital memorial album, or compile a scrapbook of handwritten letters.
• Shared Rituals: Cook her favourite recipes (even if they make you cry), listen to her music, or wear a piece of her jewelry.
• Acts of Service: If she cared deeply about a cause, find a way to volunteer or donate in her name. Planting a rose bush or a tree in her honour provides a living, growing memorial.

Creating New Traditions of Remembrance

Consider dedicating a specific day each year—perhaps her birthday or a holiday—to a tradition that celebrates her unique personality. This shifts the focus from the day of loss to the joy of having known her.

5. Be Patient: The Healing Journey Takes Time

( Focus: Healing Timeline, Integration of Loss)

Finally, be patient above all else. Healing takes time, and it rarely adheres to our schedule. There will be days when you feel strong, and then moments of despair when the grief feels as fresh as the moment you received the news. This inconsistency is normal. Do not expect to “get over” the loss. Instead, focus on learning to live with it. The goal is to gently integrate the memory of your loved one into the ongoing narrative of your life, carrying their love in your heart rather than constantly battling the pain of their absence.

The pain of my mother’s passing is forever, but with each passing day, I found small glimmers of light. I navigated the new reality, one breath at a time, guided by the immense love she instilled in me. If you are currently facing this daunting journey, please know you are not alone. With patience, self-compassion, and the courage to lean on your loved ones, we can all find our way through the uncharted waters of grief.