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angelicalmist
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 Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 10:23 am Post subject: Trying to Help a Friend |
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Honorary Crew
Joined: Mar 07, 2007
Posts: 102
Location: Salinas, Puerto Rico
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| Hi, everyone..... I need help..... I have a friend that is from where I just to be living, I just met him on December, and he became a good friend..... But his being depressed and he has told me that wants to kill himself after he graduates from high school, because his mom has told him that she's going to kick him out of the house...... Can you please tell me how to help him and take his mind of attempting against his life, plus he usually cuts and burns himself...... Please I'm open to hear any advise.......... Thank you in anticipation!!!!!!1 |
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Smitty
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| Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 10:32 pm Post subject: trying to help a friend |
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Mr. Winkle
Joined: May 27, 2006
Posts: 138
Location: Bellbrook, Ohio
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If your friend has indeed told you of his intent to harm himself, then you need to talk to his parent(s) and explain what was said.
If they refuse to help or seek help then you need to try and get your friend to find the help needed. If he is still in school then he must contact the school counselor imediately. They will take it from there.
Always take these things seriously even if you suspect they are said in jest. you never know. I have had to deal with this several times and it can be very difficult getting to the next step. But a person's life is worth the effort.
My prayers are with you and the young masn and his family.
John (:-j |
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angelicalmist
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 7:32 pm Post subject: |
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Honorary Crew
Joined: Mar 07, 2007
Posts: 102
Location: Salinas, Puerto Rico
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| Thank you, John, for your comprehension and your helpful advise..... I hope I can really help him..... Thank you!!!!! |
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Rose
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:46 pm Post subject: |
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Pure Essence
Joined: Mar 17, 2004
Posts: 2783
Location: Canada Ontario
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Please note that none of us here are professionals and the advice given should not be taken as such. The fact that he has told you he wants to kill himself tells me that he wants to talk about it. John is right that your friend should get professional treatment. Be supportive. Listen to him and encourage him to get help. Do you have a suicide prevention hot line there that he could call?
_________________
Rose DesRochers World Outside My Window|
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TheRadiantSeraphim
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| Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 1:20 am Post subject: |
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visiting addict
Joined: Sep 04, 2007
Posts: 95
Location: In a pile of books.
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I more or less agree with everyone here. I am no professional by all means (although I am a Psychology and Criminology major), but I also know that talking about it is a sign that the person is hinting at help. And the very fact that they talk about it does not mean that they will not attempt it in the future (and vice versa). So, I will give some things that can be done as a peer, but it will not by all means reflect what changes can be done with psychotherapy done by a licensed professional. On the other hand, though, peer support makes a difference in general, and even professionals will tell you that.
I know that acting non-judgmental makes more of a difference than acting judgmental. In the past, I used to be very judgmental about things like this and now I realize where I went wrong, and what the most productive route might be. Try to understand their situation and try to encourage the help seeking. Be as tactful as you can be with giving your opinions if they inquire about it (they might or might not be feeling ashamed for their feelings), for coming across as accusing might put everyone in a sensitive situation. From personal experience and without specifying the situations, I can tell you that crisis situations get nasty REALLY fast.
One thing to also keep in mind is giving hope while keeping a sense of realism when talking. For instance...I would personally suggest something on the lines of, "I think you are taking steps to make changes in your life by talking to me/seeking help/etc" or something on those lines. Again, this is all an unprofessional opinion, but I think it might help. Of course, this might also depend on the person. It is always good to try to get them to realize what they -are doing- to make changes in their life, and what they can do to make changes in their life. I think the former part especially encourages them to continue with those changes.
I am not a licensed psychologist, but I think that there is some truth to the positive psychology aspect. It is more or less a method of strengthening the person's "strengths" and focusing on their strengths as opposed to just solely focusing on minimizing their weaknesses. I think it might help in the case of those dealing with despair, especially.
Of course, this is a matter of opinion and I do not want you to take my thoughts as "expert opinions." I am only speaking from what my limited experience and knowledge is when handling such crisis interventions and preventions.
Sincerely,
TheRadiantSeraphim |
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TheRadiantSeraphim
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| Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 1:24 am Post subject: |
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visiting addict
Joined: Sep 04, 2007
Posts: 95
Location: In a pile of books.
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| TheRadiantSeraphim wrote: |
I more or less agree with everyone here. I am no professional by all means (although I am a Psychology and Criminology major), but I also know that talking about it is a sign that the person is hinting at help. And the very fact that they talk about it does not mean that they will not attempt it in the future (and vice versa). So, I will give some things that can be done as a peer, but it will not by all means reflect what changes can be done with psychotherapy done by a licensed professional. On the other hand, though, peer support makes a difference in general, and even professionals will tell you that.
I know that acting non-judgmental makes more of a difference than acting judgmental. In the past, I used to be very judgmental about things like this and now I realize where I went wrong, and what the most productive route might be. Try to understand their situation and try to encourage the help seeking. Be as tactful as you can be with giving your opinions if they inquire about it (they might or might not be feeling ashamed for their feelings), for coming across as accusing might put everyone in a sensitive situation. From personal experience and without specifying the situations, I can tell you that crisis situations get nasty REALLY fast.
One thing to also keep in mind is giving hope while keeping a sense of realism when talking. For instance...I would personally suggest when speaking about touchy topics, to say something on the lines of, "I think you are taking steps to make changes in your life by talking to me/seeking help/etc" instead of giving a sense of "false hope," (as in, saying things are okay when they might not be). Again, this is all an unprofessional opinion, but I think it might help. Of course, this might also depend on the person. It is always good to try to get them to realize what they -are doing- to make changes in their life, and what they can do to make changes in their life. I think the former part especially encourages them to continue with those changes.
I am not a licensed psychologist, but I think that there is some truth to the positive psychology aspect. It is more or less a method of strengthening the person's "strengths" and focusing on their strengths as opposed to just solely focusing on minimizing their weaknesses. I think it might help in the case of those dealing with despair, especially.
Of course, this is a matter of opinion and I do not want you to take my thoughts as "expert opinions." I am only speaking from what my limited experience and knowledge is when handling such crisis interventions, speaking as someone who is not even a licensed professional. I will admit that I do not know too much background information about your friend to give any concrete advice either... but I think what I listed might at least help you on what you can do as a peer. Hopefully though, it can make some difference.
Sincerely,
TheRadiantSeraphim |
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