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Rose
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 Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:51 pm Post subject: Share a joke |
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Pure Essence
Joined: Mar 17, 2004
Posts: 2777
Location: Canada Ontario
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Have a great joke to share with our readers? Tell it here.
A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell.
She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.
"Oh my," said the writer. "Let me see heaven now."
A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.
"Wait a minute," said the writer. "This is just as bad as hell!"
"Oh no, it's not," replied an unseen voice. "Here, your work gets published."
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Rose DesRochers World Outside My Window|
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Rose
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| Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:54 pm Post subject: |
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Pure Essence
Joined: Mar 17, 2004
Posts: 2777
Location: Canada Ontario
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A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?” the man asks.
“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in second. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is...”
“Wait, wait. Back up a minute,” The man says. “My agent called?”
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Rose DesRochers World Outside My Window|
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Orion
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| Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 11:09 pm Post subject: |
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Turtle Power
Joined: Mar 18, 2004
Posts: 1184
Location: West Virginia
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LOL great jokes my friend
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Staff Admin of the best writing site on the net and also the creator of Ed the Alien and both of us are very glad to be here:) |
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Cparker
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| Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 2:58 pm Post subject: |
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Monkey Boy
Joined: Sep 26, 2004
Posts: 588
Location: Portugal/London
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haha.. i like the agent one.
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Teal´c : To resist the influence of others, knowledge of oneself is most important. |
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Rose
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| Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 5:13 pm Post subject: |
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Pure Essence
Joined: Mar 17, 2004
Posts: 2777
Location: Canada Ontario
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"I need to poison my husband"
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”
The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy!
I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law!
I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now. That’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
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Rose DesRochers World Outside My Window|
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Orion
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| Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 10:47 pm Post subject: |
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Turtle Power
Joined: Mar 18, 2004
Posts: 1184
Location: West Virginia
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LOL looks like she had a prescription after all
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Staff Admin of the best writing site on the net and also the creator of Ed the Alien and both of us are very glad to be here:) |
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Rose
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| Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 10:50 pm Post subject: |
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Pure Essence
Joined: Mar 17, 2004
Posts: 2777
Location: Canada Ontario
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A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do. "The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?" The little girl replied, "My homework."
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Rose DesRochers World Outside My Window|
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BeauJangles
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| Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 2:32 am Post subject: Its a Joke Eat your dinner up |
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Super Newbie
Joined: Apr 23, 2006
Posts: 4
Location: Australia
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 ' No eat your dinner, you can't have any chocolate. you'll end up with a stomach so big you will not be able to see your shoes'. Daddy puts another spoonfull of peas in his four year old sons mouth. Everyday the same carry on---' No chocolate with your breakfast'.Daddy decides to take his son to the park. Sitting on the bus which is really full it stops to let a young lady on who is heavily pregnant. The four year old looks up at her and shouts ' I know what you've been doing!'
BeauJangles |
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Sully
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| Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 12:44 am Post subject: |
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Official member
Joined: Jan 31, 2007
Posts: 27
Location: FL/NC
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A slug was mugged by two snails in a dark alley in New York. When the police arrived, they asked the slug for a description of his assailants.
"I don't know," said the slug. "It all happened so fast..."
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A great story can overcome less-than-brilliant writing, but brilliant writing cannot save a lousy story |
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stargazer
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| Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 2:37 pm Post subject: |
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Shining Star
Joined: Sep 28, 2007
Posts: 328
Location: Pennsylvania
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Good one, sully...
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What lies before you and what lies behind you is nothing to what is inside you. |
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Sheri1969
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:53 am Post subject: |
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Women of Faith
Joined: Nov 30, 2005
Posts: 267
Location: Ontario Canada
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Okay, this is one I got sent to me in my email from Nursing Jokes and humour.
An eldery lady was seen by a dentist. The dentist, noticing the elderly lady was a bit nervous, started by asking her if she knew how latex gloves were made.
"No?" she replied.
"Well," he spoofed, "Down in Mexico, they hire people by the size of their hand. Each person is then taken to the latex pool where they dip their hands in the pool. They walk around until the latex on their hands dry, take the gloves off, put them in the appropriate size bin, and repeat.
The elderly lady never said a word.
Half way through the procedure, the lady laughed. Blushing, she said, "It just hit me how they must make condoms!"
Sheri1969
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Sheri Liegh Adams
Jesus Never Fails! |
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