Forever & Ever Amen

I'm gonna love you forever, forever and ever amen. I love that song by Randy Travis.

 I ask myself constantly "why it is that so many people are looking for greener grass?" You know there may be times, when the grass isn't really greener on the other side of that fence. Are you looking to spark a new flame instead of relighting the one already lit? Yes a new relationship is new and exciting, but what happens when that fire dies out of that relationship. You could spend the rest of your life always looking for that perfect relationship. Before you say the relationship is over, we have to ask ourselves the question. What is it we are running from?

The kids are fighting again, the toilet is plugged, the phone is ringing and your wife is nagging, because you didn't fix that broken door. Does this scenario sound all too common in your life? Your asking yourself was this marriage a mistake? So life is not like a Cinderella fairy tale. Ask yourself why you married your spouse. It was because you were in love right? Kids are born, things breakdown, jobs are lost, love ones die and through all of the ups and downs comes the time you need to reflect on one another.

The reward can be found in the one you are with. Dig deep within yourself to find what first attracted you to him or her. When looking over the fence at greener pasture, we need to look at the roots and not just what sits above the surface. Fertilizer will turn most any lawn green. Remember the dress you were wearing when you first turn his head, the first song you ever dance to or the first thing you ever said to her that made her laugh that girlish laugh of hers that you so love. It is easy to loose sight of our partner in the day-to-day hyper routine of our lives. In finding a rekindled beauty, a passion; we may just find that "There is no place like home". You may just see that you do not want all the years you put into your marriage and all the memories to end. You may see that the grass was not greener on the other side; but green right under your own feet.

Reflect on the first time you saw your spouse: What was it that stood out about them? What about the moments when you were sad and lonely; who was it that came through for you? Remember when your children were born, the feelings you both shared at that moment. Take yourself back to the hospital room.

 Communication is the biggest thing in a marriage. After the kids are gone to bed, sit down and reflect on the memories. It is time to bring up funny stories or memories you both shared throughout the years. When fighting let the past go, only bringing up past mistakes hurt each other more and more. Don't point out each others short comings. So what if he doesn't put the seat down on the toilet, or she farts in bed. We all have short comings. Maybe you should examine just what your own short comings are instead of always focusing on your spouses.

Concentrate on intimacy between each other more by touching one another more. The lightest touch can tell your partner you're still very much in love with them. Perhaps give him a peck on the cheek, a brush of the shoulder, a smile from across the room or lay your head on his lap while watching a movie. You married for better or for worse and love and marriage it is a commitment you both made. Marriage is anything but easy, but no relationship is.

There is no reason why you can't live out your fantasy with your spouse and most of all take time for each other.

The best gift you can give to your children is to love one another.

Rose DesRochers is a wife, mother, respite worker, shih-tzu owner, blogger, poet, freelance writer, as well as the administrator of Today’s Woman Community. Rose has been married 21 years and brings first-hand experience to her advice on marriage.