Author:Robert Siciliano
Whether you call it internet stalking, cyber stalking, online stalking, or celebrity stalking, the definition of stalking is when someone consistently contacts a person regardless of their requests for them not to. We have anti stalking articles and information on stalking, stalking statistics and stalking law.
Stalking is about domination. It is one or more persons
continually making efforts to control another person’s life and thoughts by
paying unwanted attention. Stalkers become obsessive investigators,
interrogators, intimidators and terrorists. According to current statistics,
almost a million and a half people are being stalked by an ex-boyfriend,
ex-girlfriend, ex-husband, ex-wife, estranged husband, estranged wife, secret
admirer, or an infatuated mentally unstable individual.
Celebrities and everyday people are potential victims of the stalker. Stalking
is when someone contacts you when you repeatedly request that they do not. They
watch, follow, call, email, fax or continually send mail to you after you
request they do not. Stalking is psychological terror. They make you a prisoner
in your own life. They make it known that they know where you have been, whom
you have spoken to, what you have done and where you are going next. They insist
that they cannot live without you and you cannot live without them. Here are a
few things to consider.
Red Flags; signs that you are being stalked include; an obsessive
relationship that continues after the victim requests it does not, which
includes; repeated contact of you, friends, family or work, following, threats,
vandalism, dead or missing pets or an assault on the victim.
Warning Signals; when your intuition is telling you something is wrong
immediately respond. When the red flags become obvious it might be too late. The
moment things start to go wrong respond with stated boundaries and call it
quits.
Ending a relationship; most stalkers have had some form of an emotional
relationship with the victim. When the victim requests that the relationship
must end, do it sternly and efficiently and make your feelings known. Stringing
the stalker along only gives them hope and sends mixed signals. They will
misconstrue your words and find hope in their meaning.
Final Words; once you have ended the relationship and the stalker continues to
make contact, under no circumstances do you respond. Emotions can eventually
fade away, however, if you respond after a month of being contacted, you give
the stalker their emotional fix and then they want more. More is never enough
for the stalker.
Begging; trying to reason with, pleading and requesting the mercy of the
stalker only empowers them and gives them the feeling of being in control of
your life. Under no circumstances do you respond and especially respond with
begging, pleading or their mercy. Never try to rationalize with irrational
people.
Home Security; If their was ever a time to install an alarm it is when
you are being stalked. Make sure it is monitored by local law enforcement and
keep it on while you are home during the day and when you sleep at night.
Wireless alarms can be installed quickly and there are no phone lines to cut.
Dogs; this is also a good time to get a vicious dog. With little research
a fully-grown Doberman, Pit-bull, German Shepard, Rotweiler or any other dog
trained to kill can be a lifesaver. There are many outfits that will rent you a
guard dog while you are in jeopardy.
Friends and Family; make sure you notify friends, family, neighbors,
co-workers and local businesses who you are a customer of and acquainted with
what your situation is and show photos of the stalker. Your circle of
relationships might be a significant factor in staying safe.
Self Defense; knowing how to disable an attacker armed or unarmed should
be a staple of everyday living. When you are being stalked you are essentially
at war and need to understand the fundamentals of armed and unarmed combat. Once
you have the tools to debilitate another human being, that’s when you decide if
carrying a weapon is appropriate.
Self Care; these are extremely emotional times. Sleep deprivation,
starvation, anxiety, and a number of physical and emotional anomalies are side
effects of being stalked. Seek professional help and maintain as much personal
balance as possible.
Documentation; experts disagree on if a restraining order is a
helpful or hurtful tool when being stalked. The introduction of a restraining
order can emotionally charge your stalker or give them the warning to back off.
Either way, a paper trail of all events and proper reporting of each incident
will serve as a back up in the event that you kill your attacker in
self-defense. Too many people serve jail time as a result of killing their
attacker in self-defense because they have not documented their obsessed
stalkers attempts at disrupting their life.
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About the Author
Robert Siciliano is a Boston based Professional Speaker, Personal Security
Consultant and president of 3 security related companies. He is certified under
the guidelines of the Massachusetts Board of Nursing to train healthcare workers
on personal safety. He has 18 years of security training in martial arts,
personal body guarding, bar-room bouncing and observing the human condition. He
is the author of 2 books including The SafetyMinute: How to be safe on the
streets, at home and abroad so you can save your life! His seminar topics
include; Safe Travel Security, ID Theft Security, Workplace Violence, Nurse
Security, Realty Security, Self Defense, Children Security and Public School
Security. Robert has appeared in Mademoiselle, Good Housekeeping, Consumer
Digest, the NY Post, and Boston Herald, on national TV on CNN, the Montel
Williams, Sally Jesse Raphael, Howard Stern, David Brenner, and the Maury Povich
talk shows. Reach him at
www.SafetyMinute.com
Article Source:
http://ww.todays-woman.net
