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| Humour: Baby's Appreciation for Mother |
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Today's Woman Expert Author:
Melvin Durai
Mothers -- we just don't appreciate them enough. And that's partly because our memories are so short. We don't remember what Mom did for us when we were tiny and helpless, when we drank nothing but milk, when we possessed only one talent: changing the color of our diapers.
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Posted by rose on Friday, May 12 @ 16:44:04 EDT (590 reads)
( | Score: 0) |
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Gregan writes "
Today's Woman Expert Author:
John Sammon
I decided to try and communicate with my wife about the deteriorating state of our marriage in a way she could understand. After all, I figured, she attends so many community meetings, many of them governmental, I thought she could relate to the use of a flow chart."
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Posted by rose on Wednesday, May 10 @ 13:01:26 EDT (764 reads)
( | Score: 0) |
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| Humour: Melvin Durai's Humor Column: English Under Attack |
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Today's Woman Expert Author:
Melvin Durai
Tonight, on a very special edition of Larry King Live, we have an exclusive
interview with Jed Greeley, president of the English Protection Association
(EPA). The association was formed this year to protect the English language from
what it calls -- and I'm quoting here -- 'a murderous assault from the Mexicans,
Chinese and Indians.' Why are you focusing on them, Jed?
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Posted by Rose on Thursday, May 04 @ 18:56:04 EDT (616 reads)
( | Score: 3) |
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Gregan writes "
Today's Woman Expert Author:
John Sammon
I made fun of skateboarders. I paid the price. I invented the skateboard.
I apologize for the pain this has caused. How many shopping centers have had to post, "no skateboarding" signs? How many little old ladies exiting the grocery store had to jump out of the way, dropping a carton of eggs, as a polymer-wheeled Mongol whizzed past?
"
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Posted by Rose on Saturday, April 29 @ 12:56:07 EDT (656 reads)
( | Score: 0) |
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Gregan writes "
Today's Woman Expert Author:
John Sammon
There are certain words that just shouldn't be.
The English language has been polluted by foreign influences, and those of idiots, morons, slang-slinging savages and pseudo-intellectual do-gooders. The language of Shakespeare, in all its beauty and majesty, is in danger. Here are some examples. "
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Posted by Rose on Monday, April 24 @ 18:10:35 EDT (773 reads)
( | Score: 0) |
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Gregan writes "
Today's Woman Expert Author:
John Sammon
The mechanics were blonde. The car was bad.
I was given a car by a relative and I was overjoyed, because this was a Lincoln Mark VII, an upscale car without a scratch on the body. It looked to me like a Mercedes. At last I could give up my banged-up Toyota and look successful (my wife claims I’m an aristocrat without the money)."
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Posted by Rose on Wednesday, April 19 @ 17:40:10 EDT (690 reads)
( | Score: 4.5) |
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Gregan writes "
Today's Woman Expert Author:
John Sammon
If you want to be popular with women, be like a boy. One of the insults that for some reason has largely disappeared from the American lexicon is the use of the word "boy," to denigrate someone's masculinity."
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Posted by Rose on Wednesday, April 12 @ 21:15:37 EDT (701 reads)
( | Score: 3.66) |
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| Humour: The Game Within the Game |
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Today's Woman Expert Author: Melvin Durai
My wife is expecting again. I don't know how it happened - and neither does
the mailman.
I asked him and all he said was, "I haven't even looked at your wife." Well, I
have looked at my wife. And that's all it took apparently. One look and the next
thing I know, she's saying, "Honey, I've got some news."
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Posted by Rose on Wednesday, April 12 @ 21:07:23 EDT (733 reads)
( | Score: 0) |
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| Humour: Marriage and Parenting |
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Gregan writes "
Today's Woman Expert Author:
John Sammon
Marriage and parenting are among the few highly-challenging skills for which there are no qualifications, and for which no previous experience is necessary, and for which people just assume they are doing it right, making much of it up as they go along. "
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Posted by Rose on Friday, March 31 @ 23:20:28 EST (1152 reads)
( | Score: 0) |
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| Humour: Floot Your Nooter |
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Gregan writes "
Today's Woman Expert Author:
John Sammon
We need new insults.
New obscenities.
New English language slang for ignorant morons and cretins. "
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Posted by Rose on Tuesday, March 28 @ 19:24:15 EST (1274 reads)
( | Score: 5) |
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96 Stories (10 Pages, 10 Per Page)
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